So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
