This girl is more easily done than said...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
