I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
