He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
