If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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