just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
