If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
