I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
