What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
