apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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