Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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