I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
