I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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