We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
