Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
