the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I love you.
Bad choice
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
