Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it glows. i had to have it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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