I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
