btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
