she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
