i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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