I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
