He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
