Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
