Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
