5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
