I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
false alarm. still invincible.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
