week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pop tarts are not kleenex
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
