absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
