Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
