I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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