Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
