Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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