Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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