we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
