Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
