just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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