I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
