I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We're too hungover to prance.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
