Do you still have your period?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
