I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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