it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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