but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
