This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
