i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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