I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
