We won't sleep together?
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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