I am in a vortex of obligation.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
