Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
