no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
